So yesterday my brother Patrick and I decided to make dessert. I had already made a dinner which went over fairly well but now i wanted to make dessert. i had a recipe for poached peaches which looked ballin as fuck and I was very excited. Desfortunato, some motherfucker ate all the peaches in my house, so we decided to go instead for pears. After all, people poach pears all the time. It is practically the official hobby of people born before the Great War.

Overall, it’s not like the poached pears were gross, but they were pretty disappointing in the flavor department.  but I will briefly summarize here the recipe I used and what I think went wrong.

Basically

• 3 pears, peeled, halved and deseeded
• 3 cups water
• 1 tsp vanilla extract, or honestly however much you fucking want
• 1 tsp or so cinnamon (I used a cinnamon stick. I do not know how these are different, measurement-wise)
• 1 tsp nutmeg

So you boil your water, dump your pears in there, add the spices and let it simmer for like 12-15 minutes. The pears I used were not so ripe, which is probably not a great idea. Definitely go for ripe pears. Also, you could probably use less water. Overall, the pears did not have a lot of taste, but if you are into things that taste bland or you are elderly, go for it.

The real issue came with my attempt to make a lil creme anglaise to put on top. The recipes I looked at recommended whipped cream on top of pears and I said, hm that sounds great but I don’t have cream, I only have milk (only skim milk too so that’s awkward). So whipped cream is out, and honestly creme anglaise should be ruled out too, but like I am not afraid of substituting ingredients so I decided to be brave. I looked up  a recipe for low fat creme anglaise. I will copy it out here for you, it’s from gourmetbetty.com (idk man)

• 2 Large egg yolk
• 2 Tbs Cornstarch
• 5 Tbs Sugar
• 2 Cups skim milk
• 1 tsp Vanilla Paste

1. Warm up the milk in either a microwave save bowl for about 2 minutes or on the stovetop until warm - do not boil.

2.  In a saucepan, whisk together the egg yolks, cornstarch, and the 5 Tablespoons sugar until think and pale yellow, about 2 minutes.

3. Slowly whisk in the hot milk and place saucepan over medium-low heat. Bring to a simmer while slowly stirring sauce with wooden spoon.

4. Cook for about 4 minutes or until the sauce is thick enough to coat the back of the soon. Stir in the vanilla paste. Stirring frequently, do not leave unattended.

5. Pour sauce into bowl and cover with plastic wrap, pressing it directly onto the surface to prevent a skin from forming on the sauce, and refrigerate.

There are a few major differences between this and what I did. Number one, I did not have cornstarch, so I put in a little flour. Also, I halved the recipe since I only had a cup of milk handy. Also I didn’t have vanilla paste; I don’t know what the fuck that is. The whole thing ended up tasting approximately like a thinner tapioca pudding. It wasn’t so bad, but it’s not like it was really adding anything to the pears. I felt sort of boring and British eating my pears, and it wasn’t really worth the time I spent making them.