Posts tagged recipes

so what i did was made some muffins this morning becuz i don’t know i am crazy and i like baking and i have no love in my life. plus today is my day off. so i made these maple blueberry muffins. they were pretty tasty, although i admit i feel like they are not really delicious enough to justify using that much maple syrup.

herewego

Recipe Ingredients

• 1/3 cup whole flaxseeds (or use rolled oats)
• 1 cup whole-wheat flour
• 3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour (i replaced the last two tablespoons with wheat germ…idkman i luv wheat germ)
•  1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
•  1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
•  2 large eggs
•  1/2 cup pure maple syrup (hahaha motherfucker that is a LOT OF SYRUP THAT SHIT IS SO EXPENSIVE)
• 1 cup buttermilk (i used soymilk mixed with some yogurt. admittedly this was free-styling to a pretty large extent but i wish i gave a fuck)
• 1/4 cup canola oil
• 2 teaspoons freshly grated orange zes
• t 1 tablespoon orange juice
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (plus i just bought some raspberry extract and i wanted to use it so i dumped 1/4 teaspoon in)
• 1 1/2 cups fresh blueberries
•  1 tablespoon granulated sugar

Recipe Directions
  1. Preheat oven to 400°F. Coat 12 muffin cups with cooking spray.
  2. Grind flaxseeds in a spice mill (such as a clean coffee grinder) or dry blender. Transfer to a large bowl. Add whole-wheat flour, all-purpose flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnamon; whisk to blend.
  3. Whisk eggs and maple syrup in a medium bowl until smooth. Add buttermilk, oil, orange zest, orange juice and vanilla; whisk until blended. Add to the flour mixture and mix with a rubber spatula just until dry ingredients are moistened. Fold in blueberries. Scoop the batter into the prepared muffin cups. Sprinkle tops with granulated sugar.
  4. Bake the muffins until the tops are golden brown and spring back when touched lightly, 15 to 25 minutes. Let cool in the pan for 5 minutes. Loosen edges and turn muffins out onto a wire rack to cool slightly.

I’ll admit. these muffins were v. moist and pretty good, but again, i think the maple syrup flavor didn’t really come through enough to justify using SO FUCKING MUCH OF IT what kind of money bagz do you think i am, RECIPE????

so tonight i am planning on making

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/good-eats/chocolate-chiffon-cupcake-recipe/index.html

AND

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/berry-oatmeal-muffins/

because it is just a baking kind of day and i would not lie to you about that.

although i may wait and make the muffins in the morning. fuck me but i do love working the night shift after 4 days of 8-4.

So i’m suffering from a multitude of recipes that want me to blanch almonds. dam motherfucker as if i have time for that.

OH HOLD ON

just playing i just looked it up apparently it’s not even that hard. you basically just pour hot water on some almonds and then let them sit for a MINUTE but NOT LONGER and then you drain and rinse then drain again. then you pat them dry and ‘slip the skins off’ which seems a bit creepy to me but whatever if that’s how we’re phrasing it…

i’m tryna make macarons (NOT MACAROONS BUT YEAH IM ALSO TRYING TO MAKE THOSE BUT JUST LATER) but dam eff a meringue that stuff is kind of hard to make. but you know, you gotta have goals. you apparently have to take your blanched almonds and then grind them up with some sugar (or use almond flour. LOL THIS IS NEW HAMPSHIRE WHERE I AM I GOING TO BUY ALMOND FLOUR?) anyway. i have big dreams. besides, it’s like impossible to have a tumblr and not see 100000 pictures of various macarons sitting with coffee in like, libraries. or maybe that’s just the people i follow.

i have to say that key lime pie worked out pretty darn well. it was delish and the whipped cream was bitchin. I also made a coconut ginger lemon tofu stir fry thing with rice for dinner, plus some roasted beets. dude: roast a beet. they are very yummy and extra flavorful.the tofu stir fry was good, but next time, i’m going to stir fry the tofu first so it isn’t so squishy, and maybe add some more spicy stuff to make the whole thing a little more kickin

Coconut Tofu with Ginger and Lemongrass

• 1 pound firm tofu, drained and cu t into 1/2″ cubes
• 2 tablespoons oil, divided
• 8 shallots, thinly sliced, or 1 small white onion (lolz do you think i can buy a shallot? eff a shallot)
  
• salt and pepper
• 1 bunch cilantro, the leaves plus a little of the stems, coarsely chopped and divided in half
• 1 tablespoon fresh ginger, finely minced
• 2 tablespoons lemongrass, finely minced, or grated zest of 1 lemon (I used zest of lemon)
  
• 1 jalapeno, seeded and finely minced (I used tinned jalapeños)
  
• 1 (15-ounce) can unsweetened coconut milk, plus water to make 2 cups
• soy sauce, to taste (I used about a tablespoon)

Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a skillet, add shallots, and cook over medium heat until lightly browned, about 10 minutes. Season with a little salt, then add half the cilantro. Remove from heat and set aside.
Heat a wok along with the remaining tablespoon of oil over medium-high heat. Add ginger, lemongrass, and jalapeno. Stir-fry for about 30 seconds, then add coconut milk/water and bring to a boil. Lower heat, add tofu, and simmer gently until the sauce has thickened a bit, about 10 minutes. Add soy sauce, season with pepper, then stir in shallot mixture and remaining cilantro. Serve over rice.

so i’m gonna make some now, and hopefully it will have chilled enough by after dinner times. here is the thing though eff a key lime i am going to be using whichever limes present themselves to me. i hope that’s okay with everyone. this is the basic recipe i will be using.

For crust

• 1 1/4 cups graham cracker crumbs from 9 (2 1/4-inch by 4 3/4-inch) crackers
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 5 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

For filling

• 1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
• 4 large egg yolks
• 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons fresh or bottled Key lime juice (if using bottled, preferably Manhattan brand)

Make crust:
Preheat oven to 350°F.

Stir together graham cracker crumbs, sugar, and butter in a bowl with a fork until combined well, then press mixture evenly onto bottom and up side of a 9-inch (4-cup) glass pie plate.

Bake crust in middle of oven 10 minutes and cool in pie plate on a rack. Leave oven on.

Make filling and bake pie:
Whisk together condensed milk and yolks in a bowl until combined well. Add juice and whisk until combined well (mixture will thicken slightly).

Pour filling into crust and bake in middle of oven 15 minutes. Cool pie completely on rack (filling will set as it cools), then chill, covered, at least 8 hours.

HAHAHHA WHEN YOU SAY 8 HOURS I HOPE YOU MEAN LIKE TWO HOURS MAYBE CUZ THATS WHAT IS HAPPENING. KOOL THANKS BYE!

From Paul Newman’s cookbook. I made this the other day and my family flipped a fucking shit. Definitely the best reviewed food I have ever made. Yeah so it was real delicious and truly not so hard to make, the main thing was watching the fish carefully and not cooking it that long. you honestly want to try to get all up in there as soon as you can separate it easily with a fork, cuz then that shit is done, and overcooking fish is naht for champs.

• 2 lbs scrod fillets ( I used halibut)
• salt and pepper
• sliced onions
• chopped stewed tomatoes (I used like 3
• /4 of a can. plus i forgot to chop them. w/e)
• sliced pitted olives (didn’t use)
• 1 tbsp dried basil (or 2 tbsp fresh)
• 1 tbsp dried parsley (or 2 fresh)
• 1 clove garlic, crushed
• clam juice (I used clam sauce, like red sauce for pasta, but just a lil bit)

Preheat oven to 375. Wash the fillets and pat dry with paper towels. arrange in a single layer in a 13x9 baking dish. season with salt and pepper. cover with the onions, tomatoes, olives, basil, parsley and garlic. moisten with a lil clam juice. bake for 20 mins, or just until the fish separates easily when touch with a fork. drain off most of the liquid before serving
If you use halibut, preheat to 450 and heat for same amount of time ish

So sometimes I try to follow Lauren Conrad’s http://www.laurenconrad.com/post/shape-up-lauren-conrad-bikini-boot-camp-fitness-plan but I am not always almost never successful. But I do tend to kick ass at breakfast. This is possibly because I am just not that hungry before work, plus I am somewhat of a morning optimist.

So anyway here are some great options for healthy breakfast that honestly take like five seconds.

1. Avocado On Toast

mash up half an avocado in a bowl. Spread the mashed avocado on a piece of healthy-ass bread. Then squirt a lil lemon juice on it, and sprinkle chili flakes on for some tastiness. Dumb good. 

2. Yogurt and Muesli

Muesli is crazy healthy, and awkwardly unpopular in the U.S. It is like the forgotten ugly cousin of granola and that feels wrong to me. Mix a little of that shit up with some yogurt, toss on some banana or perhaps some fresh berries if you are classy like that and you have yourself a good time.

3. Raspberry Oatmeal Smoothie

If you have all the ingredients on hand, and you happen to own a blender, then this is super easy. Just some frozen raspberries (or strawberries, do your thing), 1 cup orange juice (or coconut water but idk that shit seems treacherous to me), 1/2 cup lowfat plain yogurt, 1 banana, 1/2 cup oats, 1 tbsp honey, and 1 cup ice. Smoothielicious dude.

4. Egg on toast

Deadass. You take an egg cook it over easy and put it on toast. I like to eat it with Morningstar fake bacon (brand names in food are largely whatever but honestly that kind of fake bacon is like a million times better than any other)

So yesterday my brother Patrick and I decided to make dessert. I had already made a dinner which went over fairly well but now i wanted to make dessert. i had a recipe for poached peaches which looked ballin as fuck and I was very excited. Desfortunato, some motherfucker ate all the peaches in my house, so we decided to go instead for pears. After all, people poach pears all the time. It is practically the official hobby of people born before the Great War.

Overall, it’s not like the poached pears were gross, but they were pretty disappointing in the flavor department.  but I will briefly summarize here the recipe I used and what I think went wrong.

Basically

• 3 pears, peeled, halved and deseeded
• 3 cups water
• 1 tsp vanilla extract, or honestly however much you fucking want
• 1 tsp or so cinnamon (I used a cinnamon stick. I do not know how these are different, measurement-wise)
• 1 tsp nutmeg

So you boil your water, dump your pears in there, add the spices and let it simmer for like 12-15 minutes. The pears I used were not so ripe, which is probably not a great idea. Definitely go for ripe pears. Also, you could probably use less water. Overall, the pears did not have a lot of taste, but if you are into things that taste bland or you are elderly, go for it.

The real issue came with my attempt to make a lil creme anglaise to put on top. The recipes I looked at recommended whipped cream on top of pears and I said, hm that sounds great but I don’t have cream, I only have milk (only skim milk too so that’s awkward). So whipped cream is out, and honestly creme anglaise should be ruled out too, but like I am not afraid of substituting ingredients so I decided to be brave. I looked up  a recipe for low fat creme anglaise. I will copy it out here for you, it’s from gourmetbetty.com (idk man)

• 2 Large egg yolk
• 2 Tbs Cornstarch
• 5 Tbs Sugar
• 2 Cups skim milk
• 1 tsp Vanilla Paste

1. Warm up the milk in either a microwave save bowl for about 2 minutes or on the stovetop until warm - do not boil.

2.  In a saucepan, whisk together the egg yolks, cornstarch, and the 5 Tablespoons sugar until think and pale yellow, about 2 minutes.

3. Slowly whisk in the hot milk and place saucepan over medium-low heat. Bring to a simmer while slowly stirring sauce with wooden spoon.

4. Cook for about 4 minutes or until the sauce is thick enough to coat the back of the soon. Stir in the vanilla paste. Stirring frequently, do not leave unattended.

5. Pour sauce into bowl and cover with plastic wrap, pressing it directly onto the surface to prevent a skin from forming on the sauce, and refrigerate.

There are a few major differences between this and what I did. Number one, I did not have cornstarch, so I put in a little flour. Also, I halved the recipe since I only had a cup of milk handy. Also I didn’t have vanilla paste; I don’t know what the fuck that is. The whole thing ended up tasting approximately like a thinner tapioca pudding. It wasn’t so bad, but it’s not like it was really adding anything to the pears. I felt sort of boring and British eating my pears, and it wasn’t really worth the time I spent making them.